You know it’s a bad sign when you find yourself actually wanting a character to die in a movie. For months I’ve been wanting to see The Other Side of Heaven, and when it arrived in the mail I was pleasantly surprised though peeved because The Pianist was supposedly next in our queue. We watched it tonight and what a disappointment.
I knew it was a Christian movie. I knew it would have one of those messages, but at the same time I had heard good things about the movie, so I really wanted to see it. Besides, I love Christopher Gorham (and I’m irked that I forgot to tape the premiere of Jake 2.0), ever since he was in Popular. So there he was, and the movie started out nice, but it was too nice and everything was resolved too easily.
A kid gets sick. He should die. Pray a little. Praise the Lord he lives!!!!! The gal’s got a crush on the missionary but see our guy, bless his virgin soul, has promised his heart and other parts to his lovely non-native gal back home, so he teaches this gal about eternal love after she disrobes in front of him. He leads her to the beach, they chat about his Diviness, abd voila, she’s enlightened and no longer wants to man handle his man parts. Problem solved! But not before gal’s mother throws a fit, yet after ranting for two minutes and finding out about the white fiancee she forgives our missionary and hugs him, blessing his future children in the process. Everyone is happy.
This is why I wanted to throw something at my tv set halfway through the movie. This is why I desperately wanted, no, needed someone to die violently, horribly. I’ve lost two hours of my life and I want them back!