Posted at Bitter Magazine
I wish I were in the mood to be witty because I have a ton of things I’d like to rant about. Like Joe Millionaire and the two MJ documentaries. It’s a clear sign that Americans have become repugnant when shows like these are worth airing rather than more important news or worthwhile drama.
Then again the media is a sham.
Reach the orange alert and suddenly we’re being told by every tv station in America how to duct tape our windows. Then a week later our dear President finally decides to tell us not to panic while Mr. Ashcroft is busy explaining that most of the threats were lies. Really? Al Qaeda is so going to tell you when it’s going to strike next. Here Mr. Ashcroft. We at the new and improved Al Qaeda corporation would just like to tell you that we’re going to hit the Lincoln Memorial, and the Sears tower, oh and the White House since it bloody well did escape our grasp that last time. You did such a wonderful job torturing us and threatening us that we’ve decided to tell you it’s going to happen on Valentine’s Day.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to inform you that nothing happened.
Now Mr. Ashcroft is busy trying to figure out how take away our rights. In the meantime rumors are rampant that the current alert level will go back to yellow, and my neighbor just demanded a refund on her duct tape from the Home Depot.
Did Joe Schmo pick Zora or bondage girl?
What’s on tv these days? Paranoia, bullshit, liars, cheaters, propaganda and proof that there no longer is decency on the airwaves. How can there be when news is classified as to whether some worn out musician is a good father despite having all the nose jobs.
Stop the presses! MJ has been abducted by aliens.
The media hardly reported on the world-wide demonstrations against going to war with Iraq. Sure, France is still against it, but who cares about them. They’re smelly and they hate Americans. As a matter of fact, all those in favor of the French are also smelly and anti-American, including Americans. Just be careful not to say that too loud, otherwise Ashcroft will find out and have you arrested and have your citizenship revoked because your statements are so pro terrorist. Patriot Act II is on it’s way after all.
As my uncle would say, the media has been bought out by the Bush administration, and well life as we know it will never be the same. That of course doesn’t stop me from gripping about our substandard programming. But alas, corporate America must be under the impression that we’re all white trash.